Connecting As A Blended Family
Here are a few tips to stay connected as a blended family.
Written By Nicole Allen
Being in a blended family comes with quite a few complications! Whether it’s busy schedules, co-parenting with other households or parenting together as a parent and step-parent dynamic, sometimes we can feel lost or unsure of how to find ways to connect with each child and encourage them in their walk with the Lord.
We are a blended family of five kids. Three of our daughters go back and forth, our son stays with us full time but has both a biological parent and step-parent in the home, and our fourth daughter has both biological parents (us!) living in the home. It’s truly a blended situation, and it can cause us to feel uncertain of how we should be leading our children and whether or not we are encouraging them in the right direction.
Over the last six years, we have found that one of the best things we can use is consistency! We have set two connection goals in our home and have strived to do each one without ceasing in order to keep that consistency. The first one is praying before bed. Each night, we will pray with each child individually. Sometimes this allows opportunities for the kids to open up about important things in their lives, and sometimes it’s simply a way for us to pray over them each day they are with us. It can be lengthy praying with all five kids individually, and yes, we will admit, there have been nights where we have wanted to have the kids go to bed because we are exhausted. This is where God works in our hearts too! Keeping this consistency shows stability for our children and also allows us to do the best thing that we can as a parent, PRAY.
The second goal we established was school ride prayers. We have always gotten caught up in the chaos of the mornings, do we have lunches packed? Was all homework done? Are you all wearing the proper school clothes? Where are your shoes?! By the time we get to the car and are on our way, we are already tired most mornings. As we drive, we allow ourselves to calm down and set aside the chaos of the mornings and the things going on around us, and we pray. We take turns one at a time and pray for our day ahead and thank God for what He has provided. This has been one of the most life-changing pieces in my parenting journey. As a stepparent (or a parent in general), I always felt odd praying aloud. I grew in my confidence and was able to start setting an example of prayer for my children. Now they remind us to pray on the way to school, and pray confidently for others and our family too.
These two tips might seem simple, but they have been life-changing for our family. Prayer is powerful, and in all parenting dynamics, it is the most important thing we can do for our children. These traditions for my family have allowed us time to humble ourselves before our children. To pray intentionally over each child and even open opportunities to confess that we, too, fall short and need God’s grace as parents.
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